she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
