I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
