just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
