I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
