I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
