I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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