Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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