The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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