Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
