I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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