Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
