My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
