You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
