we're blogging at a bar
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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