Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
