You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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