well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
