Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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