from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
