I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
