it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
