I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
