It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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