I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
