Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
