Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
