it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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