I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
