Where did you get a picture of my penis
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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