dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
