Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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