I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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