Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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