You can't special order awesome
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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