Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
