ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
