he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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