stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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