Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
