just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
