Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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