she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
