singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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