i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
