i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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