I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
