very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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