Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
