how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
