i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
