Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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