I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
