Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think I died a long time ago.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
tell me about the eggs
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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